My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
