my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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