Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
