I have surprise drugs for everyone
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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