i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
