Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
