Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
