Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
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Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
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No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
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