He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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