OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
