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I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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