It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
