We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
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I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
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I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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