i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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