youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
