if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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