he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize