Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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