you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
