do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
MIDGETS
????
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
