I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
