Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
