All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
