I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
