You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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