Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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