I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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