I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
