32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
