You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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