Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I stole a fireplace last night.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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