what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Randomize