That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
