Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
