Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
