suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
