I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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