somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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