Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize