I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
