just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
