Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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