He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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