Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
