dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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