So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
