"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
