so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
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Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
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You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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