you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
