if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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