please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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