driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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