i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I am naked and annoyed.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize