her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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