Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
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Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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