i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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