Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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