First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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