just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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